Bernard Hill died a few days ago. And man, that just gutted me.

​For those who do not know Bernard Hill, he was a British actor who is most famous for playing King Theoden in The Lord of the Rings and the captain of the Titanic in the movie Titanic. 

King Theoden is certainly his most beloved character. After news of Hill's passing hit the interwebs, people everywhere posted scenes of King Theoden marshalling his small, demoralized kingdom to fight (and die) against the vast legions of Mordor. "Spears shall be shaken! Spears shall be splintered! A sword day, a red day, and the sun rises!" 

It's an amazing scene. Really gets the blood pumping.

​The Lord of the Rings, like all good movies, continues to pop up in the national conversation over the last 20 years. The timelessness of themes like duty, friendship, honor, patriotism and sacrifice for a greater good resonate. The story acted as a balm when America recovered from 9/11. The dialogue between Frodo and Gandalf (taken word-for-word from Tolkien's original book) where Frodo laments the horrors he is witnessing circulated widely during the pandemic of 2020. 
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Nowadays people are mulling over the crisis in masculinity. Men have been judged so poisonous and dangerous that women online have overwhelmingly said that if faced with a man or a bear in the forest, women would rather confront the bear. The consensus online is that men are more likely to be harmful towards women than bears. 

The "Man vs. Bear" debate is a bit tongue-in-cheek. Speaking as someone who hikes a great deal and has encountered both men and bears in the woods, I prefer men. Bears don't get scared if you threaten to call 911. Also, truth be told, most male hikers I meet usually just say "good morning" while the one bear I encountered literally growled at me. 

Of course the debate of Man v. Bear isn't about the literal woods but the wider social tilt towards toxicity when it comes to desirable masculine traits. The 2020s have seen the rise of "Redpill" podcasters, young men who purposely invite young women onto their podcasts in order to publicly humiliate the women. Andrew Tate, an influencer who celebrates beating, controlling and assaulting women, has a cult-like following among his male audience. Harrison Butker, an NFL quarterback and commencement speaker at Benedictine College, mocked the female graduates listening to him. He told the women that they had been victims of "the most diabolical lies" and that women should refrain from being proud of the degrees they obtained after four years of study and the "promotions and titles you're going to get in your career" because "I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world." 

Marriage rates have tumbled and Gen Z women now talk about going "boysober" (aka celibate) because of the intolerable shift towards nastiness among men. 

This bitter, rage-filled definition of masculinity that has become so entrenched in American culture stands in stark contrast with the portrayal of masculinity in The Lord of the Rings. In The Lord of the Rings, masculinity is defined by self-sacrifice. Tolkien's work elevates fighting and dying for a cause, whether it be a kingdom, a destiny or even the entire future of the known world.

Masculine self-sacrifice in The Lord of the Rings, however, is not an individual effort. No one character in Tolkien's work is able to make a victory without the close coordination of many other people. This necessity of fellowship is also the linchpin in Peter Jackson's movie adaptation. Aragorn is Gondor's true king returned, but he cannot succeed without King Theoden, Gimli, Legolas and Gandalf working with him. Frodo may be the Christ-like figure forced to bear the burden of the One Ring, but he cannot succeed without Sam helping him every step of the way.

And of course Sam and Frodo cannot succeed in destroying the One Ring without the armies of Gondor distracting Sauron's eye outside of Mordor's interior.​

American masculinity depends on the lone individual saving the day against all odds. Only one man is the hero so frankly only one man deserves the praise. This view of masculinity implies that if a man's heroism is dependent on other men's heroism assisting him, then that man is not masculine in any positive sense of the word. 

If heroism is dependent on fellowship and not individuality, then that necessitates that masculine heroism involves a minimum level of empathy. You can't have others fight and die by your side if you're unwilling to show empathy towards them. Aragorn is willing to fight and die with King Theoden at Helm's Deep despite Aragorn having no real duty towards Theoden. Theoden is willing to fight and die to help Gondor despite Gondor having abandoned Rohan earlier when Rohan was attacked by Saruman's forces. Sam sticks by Frodo with a fierce and unambiguous love that has touched readers for decades. 

The version of masculinity seen in The Lord of the Rings is a version that is dependent on empathy. Every line in the film soars high above the sneering condescension that passes for masculine virtue in 21st century American culture. We can go back to Harrison Butker, who said in his reviled Benedictine College commencement address: I think it is you the women who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. .. I can tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother.... As men we set the tone of the culture and when that is absent disorder, dysfunction and chaos set in. This absence of men in the home is what plays a large role in the violence we see all around the nation. Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation of men. 

Butker's words cannot be more different than King Theodens's dialogue in the scene in The Return of the King where Theoden talks to his daughter Eowyn before he departs to fight in the war against Mordor. "The people are to follow your rule in my stead," he says,  "Take up my seat in the Golden Hall. Long may you defend Edoras."

"What other duty would you have me do my lord?"  Eowyn asks sadly. Her world is crumbling around her. She is being left behind to die with the women and children while those she loves ride off to war. 

"Duty?" Theoden replies, "No. I would have you smile again. Not grieve for those whose time has come. You shall live to see these days renewed. No more despair." 

Theoden showing respect for his daughter's leadership while also sincerely wishing for her happiness is extraordinarily different from Butker's mocking of female professional leadership and condescending assurances that female happiness only comes through serving men. The character of Theoden beautifully shows the virtuous masculinity that is sorely needed in our culture now.

RIP Bernard Hill. You will be missed. 

​Cynthia Nixon, the actress from the show "Sex and the City," has announced that she will go on a hunger strike in front of the White House as a protest of Israel's bombing of Gaza.

It's not going to be any hunger strike. Oh no! It's going to be a hunger strike for TWO WHOLE DAYS!

Wow!

Okay, now call me an old curmudgeon, but my impression has always been that hunger strikes actually have to have an element of risk to them. Like, "I will literally die of hunger if this objective is not met." That's the whole point of their effectiveness. When highly charismatic people like Mahatma Gandhi went on a hunger strike in the 1930s to protest the British separating India's electoral system by caste, it was effective. Gandhi was putting his life on the line in good faith, knowing that people would be concerned enough about him to put pressure on the UK. And even if his hunger strike did not work, Gandhi was willing to die for his cause. That is the root of what makes a hunger strike effective: the willingness to give your life for your goal. 

Cynthia Nixon on the other hand is doing.... what exactly? A two day juice cleanse? 

Let's listen to what she has to say in her own words. 

 “We are here hunger-striking just to sort of mirror to [President] Biden the kind of deprivation that is happening in Gaza and how he has it within his power to make a ceasefire happen,” Nixon said at the rally, according to Time and Times of Israel. “None of this is normal. None of this is routine and none of this can be allowed to continue.”


And to Cynthia Nixon all I can say is: Please don't. Please don't. There is nothing more empty than a rich woman carrying out a performative hunger strike. It doesn't help the Palestinians to see a Hollywood actress carry out a glorified coconut water detox by choice. It is sheer buffoonery for lawmakers to join Nixon in a hunger strike "for up to five days" according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Girl, how is this helping people in Gaza exactly? It's almost like you're rubbing it in their faces that you have food and water and power and and wealth and comfort and you're performatively giving up a portion of that for a delicate two day period because.... you're bored? You want clout? You see the trauma of a nauseatingly complicated geopolitical situation as an opportunity to elevate yourself? 

Cynthia Nixon has wealth and she could have used that wealth to help refugees arriving in this country find housing and find jobs. There are refugee aid organizations everywhere that always need volunteers. The problem is that letting an immigrant family stay in your house, tutoring refugee children and spending hours driving around delivering food is hard, unglamorous work. It is easier to participate in an ostentatious, limited fast or make endless Tiktok videos than to actually help refugees and those who have suffered from war.

Let us not fall into the trap of using overseas horror to boost our social media profiles while pretending we are merely "raising awareness" or "speaking out." 

There have been enough words. Words only help to a limited extent. Unless you are feeding, housing or giving tangible material help to those who are less fortunate, your beneficial impact on this world is very small indeed.