Yeah, I’m still angry at Dylan Mulvaney. This is going to be a rant, so just be prepared. And the reason it’s going to be a rant is that Dylan’s toxic video lying to women is still up on Tiktok. It’s still getting views. It’s still helping to expand Dylan’s brand. It’s still telling women that all criticism is bullying and anything but unmitigated praise for Dylan Mulvaney is horrifying transphobia. In this essay I’m going to be reacting to Dylan Mulvaney’s video addressing the backlash Mulvaney received after Mulvaney made a Tiktok playing with tampons. So let’s start. Yeah, women never have valid complaints. We just pop off whenever we plain don’t like someone. We’re so mean and shallow! All women know that when a person with a penis addresses a group of us as “ladies,” we are in for some Category 5 condescension. Buckle up. So Dylan had a hysterectomy? Dylan was born with MRKH syndrome? Or was Dylan born a perfectly healthy individual with a perfectly healthy reproductive system who is now appropriating the infertility issues of women? Oh, it’s the second part? Sigh. Okay, moving on…. It’s the world’s fault! It’s OUR fault. It’s never Dylan’s fault. Remember that phrase “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions?” Man, that sure does apply here. Or would except frankly I don’t think Dylan had any good intentions here. Dylan just wanted clout. And it failed. MAYBE Dylan could have gotten that one million dollar sponsorship from Tampax but a bunch of vagina-havers on Twitter ruined that. Dylan is so tired of “sticking up for myself” ladies! So, so, so tired! Oh sorry, are you women tired of people with penises using trans activism to demonstrate the worst sort of misogyny? YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE TIRED! Dylan is the ONLY victim in this situation!!!!! So, an apology? Even a pseudo apology, like “I’m sorry you felt that way?” Let’s watch. Oooooo, Dylan is PISSED! A bunch of women on Twitter got a massive corporation mad at Dylan and now Dylan is gonna unload back on the women critics! Prepare for Passive Aggression Defcon 1! “I never made any money! I never got anything good! So, *sniff* I hope that makes you vagina meanies happy!!!” Man, Dylan is so angry. You can feel the rage boiling behind the tight face and false eyelashes. I think Dylan wanted some clout and was hoping to exploit actual issues involving period activism (like the affordability of period products for low income women) to gain a few more corporate sponsorships. And it failed. MAYBE Dylan could have gotten that one million dollar sponsorship from “Tampax” but a bunch of vagina-havers on Twitter ruined that. And now “Tampax” is making Dylan put some distance between Dylan and “Tampax.” Oof. LOL. Yes. Please don’t bring the innocent corporation into this! Please! The only people suffering here is multimillionaire influencers like Dylan and multi-billion dollar companies like “Tampax.” Please ladies! You’re not the victims here! “Tampax” and Dylan are the real victims. Please shut up. And stop wrecking Dylan’s bag with corporations who potentially could be giving Dylan money for shout-outs. This is a bit of projection on Dylan’s part here, frankly. Nothing that Dylan does is a threat to my womanhood because I know I’m a woman. It’s just a fact. It exists. It’s unchangeable. Is a helium balloon a threat to the people who believe gravity exists? No. Gravity just is. It exists. Nothing can threaten an immoveable fact Okay, so here we go. Dylan immediately refuses to do ANY self-examination. Regardless of intention, if a massive group of people say you are being insulting towards them, then you are being insulting towards them. You need to examine your own actions, change your own actions, and apologize. Dylan knows this. But of course since Dylan is a toxic person, Dylan prefers to gaslight the critics. “Nah, it’s all your fault that you’re so angry at me. I’m a perfect angel.” Hm. Interesting choice of words there. “Gush.” Okay. I’ll be real. If I found a box of tampons at my boyfriend’s house I’d assume he was cheating. Men just don’t keep tampons on hand unless they live with a woman or women. And even then men don’t carry tampons unless their girlfriends ask them to. It’s seen as a little creepy for a guy to offer you a tampon. Okay, you see, this is ONCE AGAIN Dylan thinking that a stupid misogynistic stereotype is genuine womanhood. Dylan, none of us are fucking going to brunch on Sundays. We’re working on Sundays. Or taking care of our kids. Or juggling part-time work and childcare because so many women are still struggling to get back on our feet financially after the “shecession” of 2020 where women had to leave work in droves to take care of kids after the pandemic shut down the schools. Seriously, Dylan Mulvaney is disgusting. Maybe Dylan has this fetishistic fantasy of being a cute little kept 1960s housewife for some handsome square-jawed cis straight guy… but that’s not reality. That’s never reality. And that sure as fuck isn’t womanhood. Nah, it’s because you’re misogynistic Dylan. “We” gotta work through this? Okay. You first Dylan. I have yet to hear an apology from your end about you mocking female genitalia and menstruation. Yaaassss Dylan! The only thing that matters is YOUR feelings and YOUR self-esteem. You just have to “get over” the fact that you have insulted women. It’s never about anyone else. It’s never about honest self-examination. It’s all about Dylan baby! Yes, because women are awful shallow beings that just want Dylan to feel sad. No. We’re not bullies Dylan. We just want you to stop being misogynistic. That’s all. Please stop playing with tampons. Please stop calling vaginas “Barbie pouches.” Please stop acting weak and embodying the most foul anti-woman stereotypes and saying it’s genuine “girlhood.” That’s all we want. We want you to STOP that crap. And act like, you know, a real woman. Plus an actual apology wouldn’t hurt. You’re gonna apologize Dylan? You’re gonna stop acting like some musical theater version of a bimbo and pretending that’s just as valid a form of womanhood as what Margaret Thatcher, Sally Ride and VP Kamala Harris present to the world? When you criticize Dylan for misogyny or mocking female genitalia, you’re just a big bully who wants to make Dylan sad. Dylan is never in the wrong or never the person who needs to reflect and then apologize. Never. And no, that’s not gaslighting or narcissism on Dylan’s part. Not a bit. How dare anyone even suggest that. And, you know, get paid 50 grand a post on Instagram by “Nike” and “Ulta” to platform their products. And honestly I don’t blame Dylan for that. Get the money Dylan. You built the platform, you should be able to benefit from it. But don’t get angry at women when you blow up your own bag by insulting women while trying to snag a sponsorship from “Tampax.” That’s on you. That’s not on women. Also, seriously, please talk to a professional about your feelings of depression. What you’re describing with trying “to find the will to wake up every day” is not normal. Well Dylan, if you’re trying to threaten me it’s not really working.
In fact, considering what’s been happening with “Bud Light” (STILL losing money btw) it’s really Dylan who needs to be careful. Frankly it’s not just women. Trans women are also sick of Dylan’s misogynistic garbage. And corporations are watching Bud Light’s stock in free-fall and backing off. Not even Judy Blume seems to be ready to save Dylan Mulvaney. Blume did a little community service sit-down with Mulvaney after Blume was caught in an interview saying she admired JK Rowling. As we all know, saying you like JK Rowling is genocide-apologism so naturally Blume needed to make amends. In closing, we need to fight a culture where emotional abuse is applauded. Valid criticism from women is not transphobia. For the love of God folks, self-examination is a good thing! Sometimes you have to check yourself before assuming that the whole world is simply against you. The perpetual victim act can only last for so long until your audience starts to get tired of the constant demand for affirmation. And they will start to leave. And that will be one gush no tampon can stop.
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