I Gotta Be Honest, The New “Starbucks” Coffee is Vile

​Photo by Edgar Castrejon on Unsplash

Okay, I have to be real. The new coffee that “Starbucks” has released, the “Oleato” coffee, is absolute garbage.

I don’t know what pissed me off so much about that coffee that I needed to go to Medium and fire off a rant.

Oh right, it was the taste. It was the taste of the “Oleato” coffee.
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So apparently the “Oleato” coffee is coffee mixed with olive oil. And yes, it’s disgusting.

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(Image copyright Starbucks/ Starbucks Oleato )

I love coffee and I love olive oil. I didn’t think the two would go well together but I was willing to take a chance. I mean, chocolate and wasabi go well together. Ice cream and crushed pretzels go well together. Two different food groups that sound absolutely horrible can actually taste really good if combined together.

I was prepared to be pleasantly surprised when I sampled an “Oleato.” But no. The taste was gross. It was, well, it was oily. Yes, oily. And I don’t want my coffee to taste oily.

In fact adding any savory flavor to coffee is just not a good idea in my opinion. Olive oil is lovely drizzled over some sliced mozzarella cheese and tomatoes and I wouldn’t say no to an iced mocha with that meal. But olive oil directly IN my coffee?

No. Just no.
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It’s like that time I had a “Juniper Latte” recommended to me by a barista that was absolutely terrible. It just tasted like pine needles. And I like to SMELL pine needles but I never wanted to drink pine needles. I marched right back to the barista and said that I hated it. And the guy was nice. He made me a mocha latte for free as an apology.

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​Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash

​So no, do not get the “Oleato” coffee. It may not be as bad as the infamous Starbucks “Unicorn Frappuccino” which looked horrible and tasted worse. The “Unicorn” tasted like “a sour birthday cake mixed with a creamsicle” according to the “Washington Post.” But the “Oleato” tastes not good. It’s oily. It has a bad aftertaste, like stale salad dressing. It’s just not good.
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With coffee, it’s better to just stick to the basics and not roll the dice on the fance stuff. Cream and sugar only please!