I Have PTSD From 90s Movies

I'll be real. I was scared to go to movies during the 90s. 

The 80s were rough for kids' movies, not going to lie. I still remember my mother escorting me out of the dark movie theater as I shivered and wept during Willow. Even now I'm kind of stunned that a KIDS' MOVIE starts off with a woman getting dismembered by wolves as she desperately throws a newborn baby in a basket into the river, hoping the baby would be saved. How messed up is that? 

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I couldn't muster up the courage to go back to the theater again until the 90s. And that was another kettle of fish. If you mention Merchant Ivory to me even now I feel my stomach tighten in reflexive anxiety. You could be sitting in a theater next to your parents watching some safely boring costume drama and then BOOM! SEX SCENE! Helena Bonham Carter with tits out! And you just have to sit there next to your parents and ENDURE IT! I still have trauma from The Wings of the Dove. 

As the 90s proceeded and I moved from elementary school to middle school a different type of trigger developed. Books like Bridget Jones' Diary came out where women like Bridget Jones talked about how fat they were at 140 pounds. Movies like The Truth About Cats and Dogs were released which told women that if they were dark haired and ten pounds heavier than Uma Thurman, they were *possibly* still deserving of love. That is, of course, provided that they looked like Janeane Garofalo. 

Now please remember that if you are a teenage girl weighing 180 pounds and you are constantly exposed to media talking about how women are fat at 140 pounds and Janeane Garofalo is the "fat friend" in all the rom coms, you are bound to come out of the 90s with some issues. 

Even now on social media, any mention of Jeneane Garofalo will show a bunch of millennial women trauma-bonding in the comments about how badly the message of The Truth About Cats and Dogs backfired among awkward chubby teen girls. 

It was only through Camryn Manheim, a woman who was very ahead of her time when it came to fat acceptance, that there was finally some real talk about unreal body expectations among women in the media. Manheim published her memoir Wake Up, I'm Fat! in 1999 and in it she discussed auditioning for roles as a young fat actress. 

I remember I once read a script, and the description of the character was, "An extremely obese woman, about 200 pounds, walks in." Now wait a second, an extremely obese woman, about 200 pounds . . . ?! Had I had an agent, I would have told them, I refuse to audition. But since I didn’t have an agent, I was grateful for every audition I got. So I swallowed my pride and I went to do some really great fat acting.
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At the audition, I was told I wasn’t fat enough, to which I responded, I weigh a hell of a lot more than 200 pounds. You might want to reconsider the description of the character. 

I absolutely believe Manheim's story. In a world where Bridget Jones was considered "fat" at 140 pounds it was easy to see how casting directors considered 200 pound women as obese monstrosities that never leave the couch and end up with their skin welded into the upholstery.

Yes folks, that was the world of the 90s. And to this day I have PTSD about movies from the 90s. But hey, all stories have a happy ending. I love Helena Bonham Carter now, especially after she got married, had kids, and became middle-aged. I just rewatched her in Sweeney Todd with Johnny Depp. Now don't get me wrong, Sweeney Todd is rated R like The Wings of the Dove, but only for massive amounts of gushing blood. Nobody gets naked. Which is a relief!