October 05th, 2023

  The couple behind me are on the worst date ever. I am experiencing second-hand cringe every time I hear them speak. It’s like a car wreck. You can’t look away.

   I am typing on my laptop at a coffee place. There are two guys sitting down at the table behind me and …

   It’s brutal my friends. It’s absolutely brutal.

   Both these guys look really young. Maybe early twenties. They both have coffee. One guy bought a muffin. The guy with the muffin is trying to make conversation.

   And the second guy will not look up from his phone.

   Not even once.

   Oh my God dude, put your phone down! You’re on a date! Talk to the muffin guy.

   The muffin guy is trying so hard to have a conversation. “I actually don’t know a lot of gay guys at work. Like, I think there are a few but I don’t really talk to them.”

   The other guy is just, no response. Not one. Just continues looking at his phone.

   What the fuck? Phone guy can’t even acknowledge muffin guy? Not even once? Why even go on a date with someone if you’re just going to be passive-aggressive? I don’t get it.

  And I can tell this is a date. There’s a sort of poignant hopefulness going on with muffin guy. He really just wanted to ask out another guy and have coffee and maybe talk and then maybe make out? If he is lucky?

   But the other guy just won’t look up from his phone!

   Have phones ruined dates? Do people just not talk anymore on dates?

   God, I’m so glad I don’t date anymore. Or that smartphones existed back when I was dating. We had flip phones back then. You could only glance at a flip phone. If no one had texted you, you had to put away the phone and re-engage with the person physically next to you. You could only be anti-social for so long.

   Is phone guy not gay? Is that the problem here? Did he accept the coffee meet-up because he just wanted to hang with friends at work, and he didn’t realize that muffin guy was asking him out on a date? And now phone guy doesn’t know how to say “Hey, I just wanted to be friends. I’m not gay. I’m sorry, I misunderstood what this was.”

    Why not just say that? Are guys just afraid of being straightforward with each other?

   Phone guy glanced up from his phone for a split second and muffin guy seizes his chance to once again start a conversation with his date. “So was it hard moving here?”

    It’s a decent conversation starter. Ask your date about himself. Let him talk.

    But phone guy doesn’t respond. He just looks back at his phone.
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   I feel so sorry for muffin guy. He’s trying so hard. And it’s awful for young people to go out and have human interaction these days. They just want to be safe behind their screens.

    Muffin guy took a risk, and now he’s getting screwed for it.

   I hope muffin guy finds someone decent to date. Phone guy is such a loser. And phone guy knows what he’s doing. He knows he’s being an asshole.

   Geez, guys in their 20s are so horrible that even other guys in their 20s get hurt by them. No wonder women have fled the dating apps.

   I can’t take this anymore. I’m putting my earphones back in. I’m going back to the computer. I am driving past the car accident.
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   Let these guys figure it out. I’ve fought in the dating trenches back in my day. I don’t need to acquire any more battle wounds second-hand.

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