So Rolling Stone has decided to boost Jeffrey Marsh. Which is just…. Who is Jeffrey Marsh you ask? Jeffrey Marsh is a highly controversial nonbinary Tiktok influencer who makes rather creepy videos that encourage young people to go “no-contact” with their families. Marsh has come under heavy scrutiny lately because Marsh recently made a video encouraging young people to chat privately with Marsh on a Patreon. While Marsh’s allies insisted that this video was targeted for adults, it must be noted that Tiktok is an app with a lot of adolescent users. The largest proportion of US Tiktok users are between the ages of 10 to 19. Thus it’s a little disconcerting to see Marsh, a 40-something adult, tell this large audience of children to disconnect from their parents and chat with Marsh privately. Before we go on however, I need to make one thing perfectly clear: No one has ever accused Jeffrey Marsh of doing anything illegal. No one has said that Marsh has physically or sexually harmed an individual. No accusers have come forward. I’m not going to go down that well-trodden road of calling Marsh a pedophile (absolutely zero evidence of that!) or a “groomer.” Instead I want to discuss how Marsh is dangerous in that Marsh promotes vulnerable young people separating themselves from their families. And that’s dangerous. Families are often the most secure form of support young people have these days. The latest stats show that almost 20% of US teenagers have had suicidal thoughts. When it comes to people vulnerable to suicide, family may make all the difference between life and death. And yes, that includes family you may have conflict or disagreements with. Let’s go over this pro-Jeffrey Marsh Rolling Stone article that was, um, totally and absolutely not a terrible idea on the part of the magazine’s editorial team. First of all the Rolling Stone headline looks like this: The only way to interpret this headline is that the far right says that wanting “This LGBTQ TikToker Dead” is only making the far right stronger. That is literally the ONLY interpretation! But actually what Rolling Stone’s headline is saying is that the Far Right wanting Jeffrey Marsh dead is only making Jeffrey Marsh stronger (according to Jeffrey Marsh). Cuz Jeffrey Marsh is nonbinary and uses “they/them” pronouns. As a singular pronoun. For Jeffrey Marsh. Totally clear, right? Now, let’s move on to the meat of the Rolling Stone article. You don’t have to tell Jeffrey Marsh (that Marsh makes) a certain portion of the internet upset. (Marsh is) well aware — (Marsh) just won’t let it stop (Marsh) from helping people. Well, in my opinion, Marsh doesn’t really help people. Marsh seems to be more interested in encouraging mentally vulnerable young people to sever relations with their families. Let’s look at this one video Marsh made. In the Tiktok video Marsh grins directly towards the viewer and says “It’s that time of year again when you start thinking about going no contact. I want to encourage you and say something you may not have heard before: You’re going to love it.” Psst. You’re not going to love it. I already tried that thing where I wanted to cut all “toxic” people out of my life. I didn’t love it. I just grew more bitter, hateful and toxic myself.
Marsh goes on. “I know right now all you have is a world and a wall of guilt and every time you think about going no contact you just feel this thing in your chest and in your stomach. And you don’t want to be that person. And how could you. But she’s your mother. And all that stuff that culture tells you.” Nope, that’s not what culture tells you. What Marsh is describing is colloquially called a “gut instinct.” It’s when you feel something is wrong but you can’t specifically say why it’s wrong. Psychiatrists don’t know what causes a “gut instinct” but it may be your subconscious picking up on signs that are too subtle for your conscious eye to observe. Psychologists generally recommend that if your gut is warning you against something, trust your gut. No therapist would recommend going against your gut which is why it’s so strange that Marsh is doing exactly that. Remember young people, don’t listen to your family and your feelings! Listen only to Marsh’s ersatz Tiktok psychobabble! Marsh then says that “the joy” that cutting contact with your family will bring “will make everything not only worth it but it’ll make you content, happy, calm and in love with life.” It won’t. Trust me, it won’t. Chopping away your family and setting your emotional sensibilities to such a sensitive level that the least amount of disagreement will cause you to cut ties and further isolate yourself is DANGEROUS. Family separation is often a coercion tactic among cult leaders and abusers. Scientologists are (allegedly) infamous in mandating that all their members sever ties with their families. It’s called “disconnection” and Scientologists (again, allegedly) frequently demand disconnection by saying any critic of the Scientologist movement is a “Suppressive Person.” Domestic violence counselors also advise that a partner who wants you to sever all contact with your family is showing danger signs for future abuse. Never, ever, ever trust someone who tells you to sever contact with your family. Unless your family has done something outright illegal to you (like physically abuse you or steal from you) going no-contact with your family is never good. Okay, back to the Rolling Stone article. Long before trans star Dylan Mulvaney‘s collaboration with Bud Light lit a portion of the right’s brains on fire, Marsh was making videos about love. Actually I think a more accurate statement would be that Dylan Mulvaney kinda lit Bud Light on fire. In a bad way. Like, the company is literally buying back cases of their beer now. While many of (Marsh’s) followers appreciate Marsh’s soothing tone and bright demeanor, Marsh’s content, and its pro LGBTQ+ message has made (Marsh) a longtime target for criticism, threats, and daily, constant harassment on social media. Marsh uses (Marsh’s) own story of growth and struggle to encourage readers to give themselves the kindness they usually reserve for others. Marsh encouraging other people to “give themselves the kindness they usually reserve for others” is a flowery way of saying that Marsh encourages a lack of empathy in our society. And frankly a sharp decrease in empathy or even just the willingness to weather personal discomfort for the sake of others is a problem right now in the US. It’s resulting in a worrying amount of social decohesion. (Marsh tells) Rolling Stone that there are days when (Marsh’s) husband, Jeff, has to stand in the gap for (Marsh) when negative backlash is louder than (Marsh’s) inner peace. But (Marsh’s) years of being a vocal advocate for self-love mean that now, even when there’s pushback, Marsh is staying focused on (Marsh’s) mission: helping as many people as possible. That’s so awesome that Marsh’s husband helps Marsh. That’s so cool that Marsh has a family member that Marsh can rely on as a source of support when the world becomes too hard. It’s almost like preserving family ties is a net psychological good. The rest of the interview is pretty dull. It’s mostly ass-kissing and straight-up dishonesty regarding the toxicity of Jeffrey Marsh’s messaging. This last question, however, caught my eye. Rolling Stone: What inspired you to write your second book? And what message did you want to send to readers? Marsh: I was a poor, very queer kid, who grew up on a farm. I talk about in the book about childhood trauma, about my dad being violent. I talk about an incidence of sexual assault that I suffered. I don’t know if these belong in the same category but I talk about being a guest on Newsmax, which was also traumatic. And all of those mentions are in service of helping people heal. I’m sorry, but did Jeffrey Marsh just compare being a domestic violence victim and assault victim to being a guest on a conservative news program? Don’t get me wrong, Newsmax is hot garbage, but come on! Being roasted by the far right is NOT the same as living in fear of domestic violence. I’ve experienced DV and I was also completely shredded online by the far right when I wrote an article about my experiences joining a far right moms group. Tim Pool did a video mocking me and the video got over 700K views. Yeah, it sucks. But it’s NO WAY even REMOTELY the same as experiencing domestic violence. The deviousness of Marsh implying that criticism and abuse is equally traumatizing is gross. Seriously. Tim Pool can devote his entire channel to calling me a pathetic man-hating feminist and I would watch it every day rather than endure DV again. It’s. Not. The. Same. In closing, Rolling Stone has made a dreadful mistake platforming a toxic person like Jeffrey Marsh. In this day and age of spiking mental health problems, it is necessary to hold your loved ones close even if you do disagree with them. They will be the ones who, on your worse days, will be pulling you back from the brink.
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